Where the Blacktop Ends
  • Home
  • About Me
  • Mother Culture
  • Homeschool Resources
  • Hand Crafting

In a Mother's Diary: The Lever to Lift the Child

8/6/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
He's two! How can a bite of scrambled eggs on a spoon cause an entire morning of anguish? 
Oh, but it can. I know you know what I'm talking about. The thing is, he usually loves eggs.

A while back I read this and loved it. To let hunger be the natural "leverageable asset" in this scenario, the tool, the lever, it's not my place to force it. Anyhow, we tried that. It doesn't work. 

So I showed my husband what I had read and we agreed- new plan.


Picture
So the story goes...
2 yo says, "No eggs mommy." And I say pleasantly, "Ok, you don't have to," and I return to our breakfast reading.

Then the 2yo says, "I want pancakes!" To which I reply, "Ok! This pancake is yours," and I set his just out of his reach, "and you can have it as soon as you try a bite of eggs."
Of course we know his answer, which I ignore and keep on with the reading. 


Now my patience has to kick in. He begins to cry. I ask is he done with breakfast? Yes? Ok. And we clean him up and he goes off to play. 
Picture
I know he's hungry, yet I clean off the table except for his spot and go on with the morning. Later he comes up to me, "I'm still hungryyyy. I want pancakes." Employing that pleasant voice, I say, "Ok!" and he trots into the kitchen where I add, "Remember? One bite." To which we know his answer and I again say nicely, "Ok. You can go play." He does.
I keep on with my morning and he keeps asking for food with my response being the same each time. 
Picture
 The window of visibility a 2yo gives to the inner struggle of his own will is fascinating to me- in a loving mothering sort of way. It's something that becomes more private as children grow. But at 2 their personalities are shining new.

He's playing happily one second and peeking at his food in the kitchen the next. Nope, it hasn't magically disappeared. Sorry, bud. Next, he's on the floor crying, at which point, I treat him like a person in pain and offer a hug instead of the whole, "I told you..." attitude that can come so easy but does absolutely no good. Plus, I read somewhere that the way we speak to our children becomes their inner voice, and that is not what I want mine to hear someday when they're grown and gone.
Picture
This is my hardest point. One morning I had to sit down and stop trying to get any housework done because it was so exhausting to watch that tiny little will struggle so hard and for me to respond the way I wanted to.  

It's been almost a month now since he made that first step of strengthening his weak will and making the right choice. Meals are not perfect, but there have been so many triumphs over which I get joyful fireworks in my heart while he's just like, "Mmmm... happy stomach." 



I tell him I'm proud of him and what hard work it is to make a good choice.  Then I stop and remember to be quiet. A few words will do, Mom.  I sit there and relax my tense shoulders and smile watching him eat. I marvel and wonder at what kind of man he will become with such a sturdy determination behind that adorable face and dynamite personality. 
Picture
Picture
The next morning in the shower the memory comes of when I read about Mrs. so and so training in a new habit as if unfalteringly tending a sick child in bed with measles, and I tell myself it's ok that there's still a big pile of yesterday's work waiting for me to wake up to because there are so many other intangible successes worthy of remembering, and marveling at. It makes me thankful I get to be a mom. 

And then I wonder how I am going to do all this when school starts again.
...should be fun!
Picture
"But let us beware of words; let us use our eyes and our imagination in dealing with the young; let us see what they are feeling and help them by the flow of our responsive feeling. But words, even words of praise and tenderness, touch this delicate bloom of nature as with a hot finger, and behold! it is gone. 
Let us consider carefully what feelings we wish to stimulate, and what feelings we wish to repress in our children, and then, having made up our minds, let us say nothing. We all know the shrinking, 
as of a sore place, with which children receive some well-meant word from a tactless friend." 
-Charlotte Mason  2/200

Picture
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    Welcome!

    "I am recording this so that future generations will also praise the Lord for all He has done."            -Psalm 102:18

    I am a mama to 2 sweet brothers who aspires to a "thinking love" toward my children.  

    Take a peek into our  journey towards a living education inspired by the writings of Charlotte Mason.

    Be sure to leave me a comment if you're inspired!


    I prefer to keep my text and images right here. Please don't copy without permission. Thanks!
    Picture
    Picture

    Categories

    All
    Art/picture Study
    Baby
    Bible
    Book Of Firsts
    Composer Study
    Forigen Language
    Garden
    Geography
    Getting Started
    Habits
    Handicrafts
    History
    Holidays
    Hymn/ Folksong
    Kindergarten
    List Of Attainments
    Living Books
    Living Books
    Math
    Mother Culture
    Nature
    Notebooks
    Our Story
    Photography
    Poetry
    Preschool
    Reading
    Recipes
    Refreshment
    Science
    TBG Community
    Testing
    The Living Education Retreat
    Truth Beauty Goodness
    Year 0
    Year 1
    Year 2

    Subscribe 

    My new posts delivered straight to your inbox!
    Picture

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    Search Here

    Loading
    Picture
    Picture

    Instead of T.V.

    Librivox free audio books
    Seeds of Family Worship 
    Bible verses put to song
    Storynory free audio stories for kids

    Storyline Online- famous faces read books to kids

    Mister Rogers- episodes online

    RSS Feed

    Previously...

    Picture
    Our Story
    Picture
    Our Year 1 Rhythm
    Picture
    Cloth Diapering
    Picture
    Century Chart
    Picture
    Learning to Read
    Picture
    Wool Felting
    Picture
    Nature with Little Ones
    Picture
    Playful Learning ABC
    Picture
    Living Math
    Picture
    Raising Tadpoles
    Picture
    Homemade Cleaning Recipes
    Picture
    From Caterpillar to Butterfly
    Picture
    Beginning a Foreign Language
    Picture
    Animal Tracking with Kids
    Picture
    Beginning Preschool
    Picture
    First History Lessons
    Picture
    Maple Sugaring with Kids
    Picture
    Children in the Garden
    Picture
    Sloyd handwork
    Picture
    Monarch Miracle

    Archives

    August 2018
    July 2018
    July 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011

    I Participate

    Sage Parnassus
    Picture
    "In this field small efforts are honoured with great rewards, and we perceive that the education we are giving exceeds all that we intended or imagined.”  
                    - Mason
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    “It may be that the souls of all children are waiting for the call of knowledge to awaken them to delightful living.”             
                   - Mason

    Picture
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.